When someone you love dies, there is nothing anyone can say or do to take that pain away. Most of us think that there is something that we could have done to make things different. Resulting in us questioning ourselves and/or God. Unfortunately, death is a part of life. It’s a painful, tragic, part of life that is coming for us all rather we are ready or not. As we go through grief and keep Kleenex in business, we go through stages of go. So, if it’s going to happen any way, let’s journey into learning to cope: the five stages of grief together.
1.DENIAL. Denial is the first stage of grief. When I first got the news, it didn’t really register. This made it possible for me to go a week without really taking in what was going on. When I got back to my home town everything started to set in. Even then I felt as though I wasn’t acknowledging it because I wasn’t allowing myself to feel anything.
2.ANGER. After saying goodbye to my uncle to the last time, my emotions swung me into the 2nd stage of grief. I can’t say that I was exactly angry. We were all upset, but I understand that there is nothing we could have done to keep this from happening.
3.BARGAINING. Grief is the type of thing that makes you want to bargain, in a desperate attempt to fade the hurt. Bargaining never has and never will work and we all have to stop putting ourselves through the torture of thinking this way. In addition, you can say whatever you want to the universe about how better of a person you will be, but it won’t work. Don’t waste your time on bargaining when you could be focused on healing.
4.DEPRESSION. When life happens like this it is so hard not to be sad. There really is no way around it. It is so difficult at first to really get it into your mind that they are in a better place, free from the stress of life. It takes a little while to accept that they are doing better than they ever were and it’s away from you. The thought that my uncle is sitting with my grandma happy and pain-free makes me happy. Depression is the 4th of the five stages of grief for a reason. After you make your way through 1, 2, and 3, it’s time to cry it all out. Once that’s over it’s time for number five.
5.ACCEPTANCE. Accepting a loss is not easy. However, it can be done. My uncle was an amazing person. The type of person that you wouldn’t think existed anymore. He had a heart of gold, just like his teeth. Accepting that this is all just a part of life is the final stage of grief. Unfortunately, this takes time. It’s hasn’t been that long. So, I think it is okay to not be there yet.
Death is hard! In the past two years, I have lost three incredible people. These are individuals that I couldn’t imagine life without. Yet, I know that they would want me to live and be happy, so that’s what I do. Death is something that you can’t really get over and it would be inhuman to tell someone to. You have to learn to live with it and accept it for what it is. The five stages of grief are different for everyone. Have you had feelings like mind? Are you currently dealing with grief? What’s your thought process?
Nicely put! Once we understand the process, it becomes easier indeed 🙂
Yes exactly!